now, i was thinking , if any of you had kids about 10 -16 years old , would you let someone have sex with them ,sons or daughters willing ,of course? Or would you be pissed off ? Me ?  I would leave it up to my kids to decide < i am an anarchist after all> .

I agree with L.A that penetration of an under-12 is inadvisable but thats just penetration.

If I had a daughter, I would not allow her to have sex until she was 14. After 16 she can sleep with whomever she wants. Age would not matter, though I'd have a serious chat with her if she was dating someone old enough to be her granddad.

So no, I would not allow anyone to have sex with my daughter if she was just 10 years old. She is simply not old enough and needs to be spending her time in class, with friends, at sports and with something artistic (creative). Worries about sex are for later, when puberty really kicks in and makes her body ready for sex.

If it would be my son, I would be less worried at ten. Boys are explorers just like girls at that age, but are more eager to learn their own body and sex is less complicated or difficult for boys than it is for girls. Girls will be practising french kissing while boys jerk off together, for example. But in the experimental phase, age matters. Young children are vulnerable and inexperienced; this is the opposite for adults. The huge difference in power means a risk for the child.

Of course very few child molesters are actually paedophiles, but I won't be able to tell the difference between someone who is just looking to rape my child, and someone who is in a deep emotional attachment and trying to grow a healthy relationship with my child - know what I mean?

I completely disagree.

Sex for boys is easier because they already get to know that body part by taking a piss. It is not a cavity they need to get in to, it's right there for the taking. And it is common knowledge that males are more promiscuous than girls - on average. I certainly agree that society has a role in motivating children both ways; but children break free from that without much trouble. My point is that sex is slightly more of an issue for girls than it is for boys, because it really involves penetration which can be painful and will feel very intimate. Unless we count oral sex...

And of course it is bad for a girl to not know anything about sex and I really do hope they find out how to masturbate by the age of 16.

No i rather not i think...

I don't think this is something I should really decide for my child, if my 10 year old daughter is playing naughty games with the 11 year old boy living down the street I probably wouldn't even notice or consider it harmless experimenting if I happened to see it. If however we are talking about a 30 year old playing with my 10 year old daughter it changes things a bit, and it would depend on what they're doing exactly and how well I know the adult in question. Ofcourse actual sexual intercourse is out of the question here and I would not allow that, but there are many different forms of intimicy and it is not impossible for the playful behaviour between the adult and my 10 year old daughter to be as harmless and innocent as it would be if she was playing with an 11 year old boy. In that case I would not intervene unless I would feel something isn't right, it entirely depends on the situation and circumstances.

On the other hand, in our current society I do feel the adult would put himself and the girl at risk, so I think I would have a word with him or her about it. There is however a very small dividing line between simply playing with a child and when playing becomes more sexual. Children can become curious or sexually aroused during playing and sometimes they initiate behaviour that can be considered sexual by some. Things like I will show you mine and you show me yours. Or they want to be touched because it feels good, or they just pull down their pants on a whim. This is not unrealistic at all, I know it can happen and have seen it happen before. Children do not always discriminate on age, they can act the same around you as they do around someone of their own age. It's just that most adults keep a certain distance to a child and don't feel like playing and thinking on their level, so they probably won't ever find themselves in such a situation. That's also why it's so hard to believe any sexual behaviour can take place between an adult and a child, initiated by the child itself.

would i well (a little ashamed to say) but yes  (thats if i had children)
if i like sex (even without penetration) with young girls
how can i then forbite my children to heve sex with older men/women
if i did so i would be a hipocrite, so i don't

still would not like it do, and i would parent them and ask them not to, but if they really would want it themselfs i would not say no.

i would also agree if it is possible to speak with this man about this  in my house and have sex with her in my house maybe with 3some or only my daughter and him...
maybe i would agree also younger than 10yrs if its a nice man who i can speak its not a problem...for example my 6 year ol daughter with a friend of my..or a neighbour or if shes 5